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High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Fri May 16, 2014 5:04 am
by Effin
Introduction

Chewtoy has asked me to help with recruiting, and I can think of no better recruitment tool than an image montage of the raiding principles and cohesive atmosphere of High Five. There are probably better ideas, but we had a limited production budget and a healthy dose of extreme laziness and apathy. So, we hired a professional artist with some bread, cockroaches, and neck beards, and this was the ultimate product.

How we see ourselves

It's extremely important for the guild to have a clear picture of what we are, and how we should work as a team. If we were to accurately and honestly describe ourselves as a team, I can think of no more apt description than a bald eagle riding on a polar bear, riding on a dragon, for America and for freedom.

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Raid leading

For any group to meet its potential, it must have focus, and that's where the raid leader comes in. At High Five, our raid leader approaches every boss fight with a level head, a firm commitment to maximizing raid utility, and a highly-developed plan that ultimately ends up looking like male genitals on a white board.

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The raid then blames the raid leader's pet for messing up any plan, pull, or even cancelled tv shows, job salaries, or planned pregnancies. This generally involves someone in the raid spitting on Flamawesome.

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The Responsibilities of Core Raiders

Core raiders should research every fight before raid. Historically, they then casually ignore all mechanics for the best chance at success. If, for instance, Blizzard created a boss in Warlords of Draenor called Sharkface whose only mechanic was to fire laserbeams from his eyeballs at random raid members, we would expect core raid members to stare into these intoxicating eyeballs to prove their manhood, such as Rob does in the following image.

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It is the duty of each raider to come to the raid prepared. This usually means stocking up on potions, flasks, food, and tampons.

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Appropriate Mumble Etiquette

It's important during raid that communication channels remain open between the officers and the raiders. That's why we advise posting images in the Mumble chat of random gross youtube videos, hilariously bad porn, or images of sausages found while walking between your house and the local beaver pelt or weed dealer.

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Conclusion

Raiding is serious business, and High Five is a serious guild. We are serious about hand drawn art. We are serious about spaying and neutering our pets. And we are very serious about stupid youtube videos.

Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Fri May 16, 2014 12:13 pm
by Dead
LOL

hey you cant forget my panda tampon slaying dragon ass kicking Slut of a panda!

http://i.imgur.com/9vZyEXM.jpg

Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Fri May 16, 2014 4:36 pm
by Peebes
LOL

Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Fri May 16, 2014 4:42 pm
by Fallen
this post sums up everything awesome about this guild lol

Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 7:30 am
by Blowmeup
Your fucking pets are still mispulling bosses?

Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 8:28 am
by Effin
Blowmeup wrote:Your fucking pets are still mispulling bosses?


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Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 9:19 am
by Gryft
/insert Arnold voice

Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 7:06 am
by Oriencor
I'm still waiting for Sharkface

Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 7:28 am
by Effin
Blizzard really dropped the ball on HFC. Not a single sharkface. Rob has to spend all of his time staring into Brian's intoxicating eyeballs instead. Which is worse. So very, very worse.

Re: High Five: The Raiding Experience

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 10:31 am
by Fallen
Effin wrote:Blizzard really dropped the ball on HFC. Not a single sharkface. Rob has to spend all of his time staring into Brian's intoxicating eyeballs instead. Which is worse. So very, very worse.


it's terrible